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Check out the fathers day cards at ModernHumorist.com, but first see their send up of poets at their If Poets Wrote Poems Whose Titles Were Anagrams of Their Names. Warning, this is an adult satirical humor site, and as such, and will have sections offensive to everyone and is not meant for those under 18 years of age.

Seven Deadly Sins - Hubris style. Pride, Wrath, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, and Sloth what more can you ask out of a web page. Sloth arrived, first, followed by Lust (book collecting, comic collecting, and celebrities), and now, Wrath, Envy, and Avarice -- more to come. Great Gossip sites under ENVY.

¹GazetteOfTheArts.com™ is published by James A. Rock & Co., Publishers. The entire contents of this web site are copyright by Free Marketing, Inc. 1997, 1998, 2000 Free Marketing, Inc.™ Use or copying prohibited unless expressly authorized by Free Marketing, Inc.™

* Yes, it really is "Bons Mots."

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9/1-30/2003 If he'd only had a modem: I've have made love to 10,000 women since I was 13 1/2 It wasn't in any way a vice. I've no sexual vices. But I needed to communicate.--Georges Simenon, mystery writer and creator of the detective, Maigret

8/1-31/2003 It's those pesky little seeds of insincerity that always stick in your craw: " I must have looked like a slab of peanut-butter on white toast just waiting for the over sweetened jam of flattery. -- from "Succored In" by Janet Buck

7/1-312003 Candidates for "World's Worst Analogies" #1: Is the poem vermin or is the poet just writing doggerel? : I could no more define poetry than a terrier can define a rat.. -- A. E. Housman

6/16-30/2003 In the bowels of the aesthetic movement: Speaking on the proposition that art should be honored for art's sake, rather than as a reflection of the Divine Mind or because of any inherent usefulness, Théophile Gautier said, The most useful place in any house is the water closet. Samuel Butler, on the other hand, opined, What is art, that it should have a sake?

6/1-15/2003 It's still spring, and love is in the air: He is a self made man and worships his creator. --John Bright about Disraeli

5/16-31/2003 Journalism, a knowledge deficit meets an attention span deficiency: A profession whose business it is to explain to others what it personally does not understand. -- Lord Northcliffe

5/1-5/15 2003 Two wrongs make a rite of Spring: When women go wrong, men go right after them. -- Mae West

4/16-4/30 2003 Boomers Beware: The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things and yet are not decrepit enough to turn them down. --T. S.. Eliot, in Time magazine, at 62.

4/2-4/15 2003 Look, Angel, that's all fine and good, but can you use an Underwood?: I can find plenty of women to sleep with, but the kind of woman that is really hard for me to find is a typist who can read my writing. --Thomas Wolfe

3/26-4/1 2003 Vegetable rites: Asked, during a word game, to use the word horticulture in a sentence, Dorothy Parker quipped, You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.

3/19-25/2003 Cold cut: While traveling through Gaul, Julius Caesar asked his centurion, What is that strange white stuff falling from the sky? The centurion replied, Hail, Caesar!

3/12-18/2003 Both sides now: Q: What do you get when you cross a Wise Guy and a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.

3/8-11/03 But that never stopped anything: There's a lot of history that isn't fit to repeat itself --Franklin Delano Roosevelt

3/1-7/03 Exercising free will: I have a higher standard than Washington, I can lie, but I won't --Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

2/7-21/03 It's almost spring, and love is in the air #1: He is a self made man and worships his creator --John Bright about Benjamin Disraeli

2/1-6/03 I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development. Alice Longworth Roosevelt(1884-1980)

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The newest humor related definition comes from Joseph Epstein writing in the Casual column of the June 5 print edition of The Weekly Standard. Epstein defines a punaphor as a special case of the inappropriate metaphor, "they [punaphors] are metaphors that forget that the function of the metaphor is to show the similarity between two different things and end up showing the similarity of similar things, but always askew, invariably with unintended comic effect." Epstein's examples are broad in range including similes such as "The new socks . . . fit like a glove." and zingers such as "differing tolerances among people for the cold is a really matter of degree." This is clearly a timely article and definition. We are sure that in this election year we'll hear and see many punaphors planted in the media about "Bush being rooted in the mainstream" and, in the same vein, about "Gore waging a bloody campaign, but remaining sanguine through it all."

Also, see our new CATALOG it is growing..

And , adults, visit Detritus and Deleteria.
This week's column: Media & Political Vampires. also . . .Oscar Wilde on tail fins and Ralph Nader

¹GazetteOfTheArts.com™ is published by James A. Rock & Co., Publishers. The entire contents of this web site are copyright by Free Marketing, Inc. 1997, 1998, 2000 Free Marketing, Inc.™ Use or copying prohibited unless expressly authorized by Free Marketing, Inc.™

The entire contents of the GazetteOfTheARTS.com™ web site is published by James A. Rock & Co., Publishers and is copyright Free Marketing, Inc. © 2000 Free Marketing, Inc. Use or copying prohibited unless expressly authorized by Free Marketing, Inc.™